A 2nd date... a 6th date... a first date... and a blast from the past.
Description
We Lived Separate Lives
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?
Since last time:
date #2 with James Beard. Still on the fence about him. Kissed for the first time at the end of the date. He asked if I'd like to get together over the weekend - said he'd touch base the next day. Didn't hear from him til Sat, the day of the supposed date. I replied that I couldn't make it, but we'd "figure out something soon". Felt like a mutual brush-off, which was just fine. Had another date with Austin Powers, our 6th or so? Nice mellow evening. Seeing him again later this week, making it three weeks since we'll have seen each other. Feeling nice and easy -- there's an attraction there, but no crazy fireworks. And maybe that's OK? Anyway -- I'm enjoying taking it slowly.
had date #185 -- ie, the 185th new guy I've gone out with since March 2005. First met this guy last summer -- he asked me out then, but I had a boyfriend. As soon as he saw my "single" status on Facebook when Jon Hamm and I broke up, he asked me out again. It took til this week to get together. I had a feeling he might not really be my type -- seemed a bit nebbish-y -- and I was right. Nice guy, but SO not for me. Teen Crush. We dated for a few months in late 2007, then he moved 1500 miles away. We occasionally emailed in a friendly, platonic way -- but I've never quite stopped having some kind of lingering feeling for him.
Well -- he's planning spending some of the summer in NY, and said he'd "love love love" to get together. When he and I were dating, I was at least 15 lbs thinner -- huge incentive to go to bed NOW so I can go for that run in the morning...
I told my shrink about him earlier tonight, and she told me: "The way you just smiled about him? I haven't seen you talk about any other guy like that". Sigh!!
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?
Since last time:
date #2 with James Beard. Still on the fence about him. Kissed for the first time at the end of the date. He asked if I'd like to get together over the weekend - said he'd touch base the next day. Didn't hear from him til Sat, the day of the supposed date. I replied that I couldn't make it, but we'd "figure out something soon". Felt like a mutual brush-off, which was just fine. Had another date with Austin Powers, our 6th or so? Nice mellow evening. Seeing him again later this week, making it three weeks since we'll have seen each other. Feeling nice and easy -- there's an attraction there, but no crazy fireworks. And maybe that's OK? Anyway -- I'm enjoying taking it slowly.
had date #185 -- ie, the 185th new guy I've gone out with since March 2005. First met this guy last summer -- he asked me out then, but I had a boyfriend. As soon as he saw my "single" status on Facebook when Jon Hamm and I broke up, he asked me out again. It took til this week to get together. I had a feeling he might not really be my type -- seemed a bit nebbish-y -- and I was right. Nice guy, but SO not for me. Teen Crush. We dated for a few months in late 2007, then he moved 1500 miles away. We occasionally emailed in a friendly, platonic way -- but I've never quite stopped having some kind of lingering feeling for him.
Well -- he's planning spending some of the summer in NY, and said he'd "love love love" to get together. When he and I were dating, I was at least 15 lbs thinner -- huge incentive to go to bed NOW so I can go for that run in the morning...
I told my shrink about him earlier tonight, and she told me: "The way you just smiled about him? I haven't seen you talk about any other guy like that". Sigh!!
Début de l'événement
15.04.2024
Fin de l'événement
15.04.2024
Site Web
http://
Are Childless People Willing to Date Single Parents
Description
Is He Assertive or Just Angry?
Why I’m Done Playing by Traditional Dating Rules
Modern Romance: The New Dating Rules
Can You Spot the Four Types of Men Out There?
What to Do When a Friendship Becomes Toxic
How to Take Advantage of Being Single
He Acted Like He Was Still Single
Following My Dream Nearly Cost Me My Marriage
This was my favorite yoga instructor at @equinox . I struggled in my first class but he smiled at me and said, "Keep coming back." And i did. He's challenging, supportive, and encouraging. I hope @equinox gets him back on the schedule. I'm up to 3 classes a week and find that when i dont do yoga, i feel off-balance. I had a terrible last two days, but i took a class today and immediately felt better about myself. That's what yoga does for me. It makes me feel stronger and like i accomplished something. I needed encouragement and class today gave it to me. I left feeling lighter and more confident. #yoga #fitness #gym #focus #balance #dontquit #strength #nyc
Friday’s downpour was not going to stop me. I headed out into the rain, determined. As always, Nick (the instructor) was there twenty minutes before class to set up the studio with lights and music, unlike all the other instructors that waltz in five minutes before class starts to fiddle with their headset. Class begins and it’s everything I hoped it would be. The degree of difficulty in Nick’s class is a smidge above my regular Vinyasa classes. He always mixes up his practice so students don’t get bored, plus he throws in several challenging poses.
Everything was going swimmingly until I heard a melodic ding of a text alert and then an annoyed hiss from the left side of the room. I ignored it and focused on the instructor’s calls. A bit later I hear the instructor, in a very calm voice, say, “Take that outside, my friend. Not in here.” I look up to see a guy standing up holding his phone.
More hissing from the left.
I don’t know if they guy was checking a text or turning his phone off or what. I didn’t really pay attention because I was too plugged into the class. The moment was a blip in an otherwise perfect class. Five minutes before the cool-down portion begins, the woman to my right gets up and leaves the studio. I’ve mentioned this before: I find leaving a class early to be rude and disruptive. Your mileage may vary on that.
Class ends and I’m feeling centered and relaxed. Then I hear it again.
Why I’m Done Playing by Traditional Dating Rules
Modern Romance: The New Dating Rules
Can You Spot the Four Types of Men Out There?
What to Do When a Friendship Becomes Toxic
How to Take Advantage of Being Single
He Acted Like He Was Still Single
Following My Dream Nearly Cost Me My Marriage
This was my favorite yoga instructor at @equinox . I struggled in my first class but he smiled at me and said, "Keep coming back." And i did. He's challenging, supportive, and encouraging. I hope @equinox gets him back on the schedule. I'm up to 3 classes a week and find that when i dont do yoga, i feel off-balance. I had a terrible last two days, but i took a class today and immediately felt better about myself. That's what yoga does for me. It makes me feel stronger and like i accomplished something. I needed encouragement and class today gave it to me. I left feeling lighter and more confident. #yoga #fitness #gym #focus #balance #dontquit #strength #nyc
Friday’s downpour was not going to stop me. I headed out into the rain, determined. As always, Nick (the instructor) was there twenty minutes before class to set up the studio with lights and music, unlike all the other instructors that waltz in five minutes before class starts to fiddle with their headset. Class begins and it’s everything I hoped it would be. The degree of difficulty in Nick’s class is a smidge above my regular Vinyasa classes. He always mixes up his practice so students don’t get bored, plus he throws in several challenging poses.
Everything was going swimmingly until I heard a melodic ding of a text alert and then an annoyed hiss from the left side of the room. I ignored it and focused on the instructor’s calls. A bit later I hear the instructor, in a very calm voice, say, “Take that outside, my friend. Not in here.” I look up to see a guy standing up holding his phone.
More hissing from the left.
I don’t know if they guy was checking a text or turning his phone off or what. I didn’t really pay attention because I was too plugged into the class. The moment was a blip in an otherwise perfect class. Five minutes before the cool-down portion begins, the woman to my right gets up and leaves the studio. I’ve mentioned this before: I find leaving a class early to be rude and disruptive. Your mileage may vary on that.
Class ends and I’m feeling centered and relaxed. Then I hear it again.
Début de l'événement
14.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
14.03.2022
Site Web
http://
Building Your Tribe: The Importance of Friendships When You're Single.
Description
Dump Now or Wait? The Eternal Breakup Dilemma
Dating a Divorced Dad
Torn Between Two Lovers
The Truth About Online Dating Deception
Online Dating Texting
Turn the Hose on an Old Flame
Dating My Sister’s Ex: Is It Weird or Fair Game?
Flirty Friends or Something More?
My Boyfriend Too Focused on My Looks
“I try to fly under the radar”
lol too late. If you had gone indirect and stuck to “oh what band is playing, that’s cool blah blah”, you could stay flying under the radar…but you brought out the nukes by going direct and calling her sexy. You’re like Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid with a bunch of guns pointed at him lifting a nearby cardboard box and hiding under it while they’re watching lol
“I’m pretty sure I kind of smirked when I said it”
lol it wasn’t a very volatile situation, but this smirk is what can turn it into one. Then you get into the whole “yo you disrespecting me motherfucker??” street vibe step-up chest-bump shit and it goes downhill from there. It’s funny and ballsy, but you don’t want to spend the weekend hitting on the nurses in the trauma unit. :)
“‘Nah we don’t need to be friends motherfucker, get the fuck on.’”
Understand, YOU caused this reaction with your dismissive smirk and ignoring his warning etc. Ya, it’s a ballsy story and fun to tell and you “saved face” and all that, and that’s cool, but this escalation is the consequence of that and you have to ask yourself in these situations “is the outcome going to be worth it? Or is there a better way to handle this? Or even should I just take the hit and walk away even if it means the people around me will think I’m a pussy?” Remove emotion and go with logic.
“the 9 has watched the whole time…and her expression is serious”
She has to look serious because the situation is escalating and she has to make it look like it’s all your fault, like you’re hitting on her, not like she’s giving you iois and secretly enjoying you hitting on her. This is like when a taken chick sleeps with a guy and 100% is into it, but then gets caught by her BF and panics and cries rape or whatever, because she doesn’t want to look like a slut that wanted sex.
“Then, I just kind of do a lackadaisical shrug…she grins.”
Dating a Divorced Dad
Torn Between Two Lovers
The Truth About Online Dating Deception
Online Dating Texting
Turn the Hose on an Old Flame
Dating My Sister’s Ex: Is It Weird or Fair Game?
Flirty Friends or Something More?
My Boyfriend Too Focused on My Looks
“I try to fly under the radar”
lol too late. If you had gone indirect and stuck to “oh what band is playing, that’s cool blah blah”, you could stay flying under the radar…but you brought out the nukes by going direct and calling her sexy. You’re like Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid with a bunch of guns pointed at him lifting a nearby cardboard box and hiding under it while they’re watching lol
“I’m pretty sure I kind of smirked when I said it”
lol it wasn’t a very volatile situation, but this smirk is what can turn it into one. Then you get into the whole “yo you disrespecting me motherfucker??” street vibe step-up chest-bump shit and it goes downhill from there. It’s funny and ballsy, but you don’t want to spend the weekend hitting on the nurses in the trauma unit. :)
“‘Nah we don’t need to be friends motherfucker, get the fuck on.’”
Understand, YOU caused this reaction with your dismissive smirk and ignoring his warning etc. Ya, it’s a ballsy story and fun to tell and you “saved face” and all that, and that’s cool, but this escalation is the consequence of that and you have to ask yourself in these situations “is the outcome going to be worth it? Or is there a better way to handle this? Or even should I just take the hit and walk away even if it means the people around me will think I’m a pussy?” Remove emotion and go with logic.
“the 9 has watched the whole time…and her expression is serious”
She has to look serious because the situation is escalating and she has to make it look like it’s all your fault, like you’re hitting on her, not like she’s giving you iois and secretly enjoying you hitting on her. This is like when a taken chick sleeps with a guy and 100% is into it, but then gets caught by her BF and panics and cries rape or whatever, because she doesn’t want to look like a slut that wanted sex.
“Then, I just kind of do a lackadaisical shrug…she grins.”
Début de l'événement
04.04.2023
Fin de l'événement
04.04.2023
Site Web
http://
Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Description
Surviving a Long-Term Affair and Saving a Marriage
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss
I took a good look around the other day and realized that people in my generation are having children out of wedlock, putting careers first, marrying later and later in life, marrying then divorcing then re-marrying, and blended families seem more prevalent than the traditional nuclear family anymore.
I grew up in a household with two parents; a father who worked and a mother who stayed home with the kids (I am the oldest of 4 girls). We had to be in for dinner, at which time we all sat down and ate the one meal my mother had prepared. There was none of this eating in front of the television and mom making 4 different meals because we didn’t like what she was making for my father…oh hell no!
We played outside until the street lights came on; all the neighborhood kids did. It’s not that we weren’t allowed to stay in and watch television, we just didn’t want to. There were no video games and computers for us to play on indoors. The internet had not corrupted us with too much information at too young an age. I spent my summers in the mountains, surrounded by extended family, with a mother who ran arts and crafts and school programs between letting us make mud pies and play with Tonka trucks. We rode bikes, went fishing, raised chickens, and caught fireflies. We roasted marshmallows at night under a starry sky and not a light in sight. We camped outside then snuck in to sleep on the living room floor in the middle of the night. What I’m getting at here…is we lived! We were active and engaged.
My mother eventually went to work but not until my youngest sister was in full day school (i.e. first grade). We had to do homework before we went out to play. We had to have clean rooms before we went out on weekends. We had to do our chores (dishes, walk dogs, etc). Things were not handed to us. We worked for an allowance to buy the things we waned. We learned the value of a dollar.
I guess what I’m wondering is what happened? I know not everyone grew up the way I did, not everyone had the ideal childhood, but where did the breakdown occur? The way things are now I am not sure marriage will survive as an institution. It’s no longer necessary to marry before having sex or having children (I’m not saying this is right or wrong…just a fact), it’s not necessary anymore financially as women are making their own money, and with divorce rates as high as they are people are entering into it later in life and a lot more cautiously.
I have posted about marriage before and my general reservations about it; mainly centered on fidelity in today’s world, but I feel this topic goes far beyond this. As somebody who is a skeptic about marriage in general, I’m left to wonder what the actual perks to marriage are. I am sure children are happier in a stable home environment and two parents can better provide that, but do those two parents need to be married? Can’t they just cohabitate and co-parent? I know it’s nice to wake up next to somebody every morning and go to bed next to them every night. Just as I’m sure it’s nice to know there is somebody who loves and cares for you; somebody to share your life with. Again, I ask, do you have to get married to do this?
“A lover always thinks of his mistress first and himself second; with a husband it runs the other way.” Honore de Balzac
“The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self; two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.” Pope John Paul II
I suppose by now you may realize that while spiritual I am not a terribly religious person, so joining together in the eyes of God and before your congregation…not really a selling point for me. I am sure there is a God; through all my religious fumbling I have never doubted that. Personally, I don’t believe that he would frown on me for sharing my love with somebody before paying the church and a thousand others (flowers, dress, cake, hall, etc) for a wedding. I also don’t think that he has an issue with me living with somebody before marriage since the only real reason against this is because we would be tempted to have sex…and I already covered how I feel about that.
I have plenty of friends who are married and love it! I am happy for them. My friends are genuinely in love with their husbands (but dare I say all women are or should be at some point and this fact alone does not promise a happy or lasting marriage). I would never begrudge somebody their right to get married and I would never tell them they are silly for doing so. I have happily stood with my friends at the altar and been maid of honor and bridesmaid for women that I hope have long and happy marriages.
Then again I will be in a wedding in two short weeks for on of my dearest friends, who you have heard about already but will remain unnamed in this blog. So she is marrying the father of her child who she has been with about 10 years now on and off; the past 3 years steadily. I love her, I think he’s okay. The thing is that I am pretty sure he is her college love. The guy you rebel with. The one you love but will never be right for you, in short he is her EK. She can’t see that though and is making what I think is a huge mistake. She doesn’t expect fidelity from her fiancé. Assumes he is already sleeping around. I think this is a horrible way to enter into a marriage, but none the less, I will stand up at their wedding in my bridesmaid’s gown, smile, congratulate them, and pray there is no fall out. There are some things even I don’t want to be right about.
I’m not writing this to be purposely provocative or start some heated debate…although if one follows that’s fine…but I am honestly, from the bottom of my heart looking for your answer. Do you feel the way I do, see the things I see, in relation to marriage in 2010? What is your take on marriage? If you are married what do you feel has been the greatest part of being married…something that might make me think twice about where I stand on it? I open it up to you…my 35 readers. Let me know how you feel about this.
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss
I took a good look around the other day and realized that people in my generation are having children out of wedlock, putting careers first, marrying later and later in life, marrying then divorcing then re-marrying, and blended families seem more prevalent than the traditional nuclear family anymore.
I grew up in a household with two parents; a father who worked and a mother who stayed home with the kids (I am the oldest of 4 girls). We had to be in for dinner, at which time we all sat down and ate the one meal my mother had prepared. There was none of this eating in front of the television and mom making 4 different meals because we didn’t like what she was making for my father…oh hell no!
We played outside until the street lights came on; all the neighborhood kids did. It’s not that we weren’t allowed to stay in and watch television, we just didn’t want to. There were no video games and computers for us to play on indoors. The internet had not corrupted us with too much information at too young an age. I spent my summers in the mountains, surrounded by extended family, with a mother who ran arts and crafts and school programs between letting us make mud pies and play with Tonka trucks. We rode bikes, went fishing, raised chickens, and caught fireflies. We roasted marshmallows at night under a starry sky and not a light in sight. We camped outside then snuck in to sleep on the living room floor in the middle of the night. What I’m getting at here…is we lived! We were active and engaged.
My mother eventually went to work but not until my youngest sister was in full day school (i.e. first grade). We had to do homework before we went out to play. We had to have clean rooms before we went out on weekends. We had to do our chores (dishes, walk dogs, etc). Things were not handed to us. We worked for an allowance to buy the things we waned. We learned the value of a dollar.
I guess what I’m wondering is what happened? I know not everyone grew up the way I did, not everyone had the ideal childhood, but where did the breakdown occur? The way things are now I am not sure marriage will survive as an institution. It’s no longer necessary to marry before having sex or having children (I’m not saying this is right or wrong…just a fact), it’s not necessary anymore financially as women are making their own money, and with divorce rates as high as they are people are entering into it later in life and a lot more cautiously.
I have posted about marriage before and my general reservations about it; mainly centered on fidelity in today’s world, but I feel this topic goes far beyond this. As somebody who is a skeptic about marriage in general, I’m left to wonder what the actual perks to marriage are. I am sure children are happier in a stable home environment and two parents can better provide that, but do those two parents need to be married? Can’t they just cohabitate and co-parent? I know it’s nice to wake up next to somebody every morning and go to bed next to them every night. Just as I’m sure it’s nice to know there is somebody who loves and cares for you; somebody to share your life with. Again, I ask, do you have to get married to do this?
“A lover always thinks of his mistress first and himself second; with a husband it runs the other way.” Honore de Balzac
- I’m sure some would say you should. There are those out there who feel sex before marriage and cohabitating before marriage is a sin. I don’t happen to feel that way but I respect your right to your opinion. The world our grandparents lived by is no longer the world we live in. It’s not necessary for a woman to marry to obtain wealth and status. It’s no longer as taboo to have children out of wedlock. You are no longer a spinster if you are unmarried at 25, 30, or God forbid 40.
“The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self; two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.” Pope John Paul II
I suppose by now you may realize that while spiritual I am not a terribly religious person, so joining together in the eyes of God and before your congregation…not really a selling point for me. I am sure there is a God; through all my religious fumbling I have never doubted that. Personally, I don’t believe that he would frown on me for sharing my love with somebody before paying the church and a thousand others (flowers, dress, cake, hall, etc) for a wedding. I also don’t think that he has an issue with me living with somebody before marriage since the only real reason against this is because we would be tempted to have sex…and I already covered how I feel about that.
I have plenty of friends who are married and love it! I am happy for them. My friends are genuinely in love with their husbands (but dare I say all women are or should be at some point and this fact alone does not promise a happy or lasting marriage). I would never begrudge somebody their right to get married and I would never tell them they are silly for doing so. I have happily stood with my friends at the altar and been maid of honor and bridesmaid for women that I hope have long and happy marriages.
Then again I will be in a wedding in two short weeks for on of my dearest friends, who you have heard about already but will remain unnamed in this blog. So she is marrying the father of her child who she has been with about 10 years now on and off; the past 3 years steadily. I love her, I think he’s okay. The thing is that I am pretty sure he is her college love. The guy you rebel with. The one you love but will never be right for you, in short he is her EK. She can’t see that though and is making what I think is a huge mistake. She doesn’t expect fidelity from her fiancé. Assumes he is already sleeping around. I think this is a horrible way to enter into a marriage, but none the less, I will stand up at their wedding in my bridesmaid’s gown, smile, congratulate them, and pray there is no fall out. There are some things even I don’t want to be right about.
I’m not writing this to be purposely provocative or start some heated debate…although if one follows that’s fine…but I am honestly, from the bottom of my heart looking for your answer. Do you feel the way I do, see the things I see, in relation to marriage in 2010? What is your take on marriage? If you are married what do you feel has been the greatest part of being married…something that might make me think twice about where I stand on it? I open it up to you…my 35 readers. Let me know how you feel about this.
Début de l'événement
24.03.2023
Fin de l'événement
24.03.2023
Site Web
http://
Dating Profile Lies How Much Do People Really Fake It
Description
We’re All Slutty For The Right Guy
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?
There is nothing wrong with stomping on a cockroach or putting down a rabid dog.
Like
LOL …. you really have a whole narrative mapped out here.
Here’s another scenario:
He’s pissed because he thinks she treated him poorly. He sends Venno bill as a passive aggressive “fuck you”. Moves on with his life.
Hmmm .. I wonder which of our two scenarios is more statistically likely?
Nice how you ended your rant with a call to violence. Hypocrisy at its best.
Like
Matt says:
June 29, 2017 at 12:47 pm
Speed isn’t far off with his theory. Read the linked story and do some Googling. The guy didn’t move on with his life at all. He invoiced her, she refused to pay, he filed a claim in court. Then he took things public and put her on blast on social media. She eventually gave in and paid him because he wouldn’t leave her alone. You’re normalizing something that isn’t normal.
Liked by 1 person
Jaime says:
June 27, 2017 at 6:06 pm
I think you can only venmo someone if you have their email or Facebook account first, why you’d share that with someone before a first date is beyond me
Like
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?
There is nothing wrong with stomping on a cockroach or putting down a rabid dog.
Like
LOL …. you really have a whole narrative mapped out here.
Here’s another scenario:
He’s pissed because he thinks she treated him poorly. He sends Venno bill as a passive aggressive “fuck you”. Moves on with his life.
Hmmm .. I wonder which of our two scenarios is more statistically likely?
Nice how you ended your rant with a call to violence. Hypocrisy at its best.
Like
Matt says:
June 29, 2017 at 12:47 pm
Speed isn’t far off with his theory. Read the linked story and do some Googling. The guy didn’t move on with his life at all. He invoiced her, she refused to pay, he filed a claim in court. Then he took things public and put her on blast on social media. She eventually gave in and paid him because he wouldn’t leave her alone. You’re normalizing something that isn’t normal.
Liked by 1 person
Jaime says:
June 27, 2017 at 6:06 pm
I think you can only venmo someone if you have their email or Facebook account first, why you’d share that with someone before a first date is beyond me
Like
Début de l'événement
11.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
11.03.2022
Site Web
http://
Four days of ups, downs, and ups again.
Description
My Husband Nags Me About Being Overweight
My Husband Is Old-Fashioned and Sexist
My Husband's Drinking Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Infertility Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Sick Husband Got Better and Our Marriage Got Worse
My Stepdaughter Is Coming Between Us
Reasons Why Black Women Should Date Non-Black Men
Black Women | Black Families | Polyamory
The BS Confident Women Never Tolerate From Men
3 Things You Can Learn From My Failed Relationship
Things Men Say When We’re Just Running Dating Game
Why Is It So Hard to Be Friends With an Ex?
The Awkward Missing Piece of the New Dating Puzzle
Not EVERY First Date is a Winner…
Most Traumatizing First Kiss Ever
How can it only have been four days since I've updated here? I have so much info for you! I'll give you the play-by-play as if I were reporting it on each day.
Monday: feeling very happy and optimistic about Mr Recurring! We're back to our previous fun e-mail banter -- in a flirty moment, he joked about playing strip poker -- and interestingly, we have not only our next date planned, but the next two dates: a lunch date mid-week, then a proper weekend night out. Am very much looking forward to both, and it seems that he is as well.
Wednesday: my work day was off to a hectic start, so rather than the lunch date we had initially planned, I called Mr R to ask if he was free that night, maybe we could do a casual after-work thing instead. He started, "actually..."
He admitted to me that he's been on a few dates with someone else -- he feels that there's a special connection there, and he'd like to explore that... and as a result, feels we shouldn't be seeing each other any longer. He gave me more info than I really needed to hear: this felt like a one-in-a-million, and you can't control when this happens, blah blah blah.
I told him I appreciated his honesty, and that telling me this was preferable to him disappearing -- and wished him the best of luck.
(as written to a friend just after the call) I'm actually crying at my desk in my cubicle right now, hoping no one comes by -- maybe this dark cloud is a little bit about him, but more about the frustration of feeling that I had finally met someone I liked, only to have it go out the window -- and a little envy over the fabulous connection he seems to have with this other woman.
I'll be fine... but it just sucks right now.
Spend rest of the day brooding / crying in my cubicle / eating bad junk food. Several friends offered to take me out for a drink, and I wound up meeting M and her friend This Guy -- long time readers may remember that This Guy and I had a handful of dates about two years ago, but it never went anywhere. We run into each other occasionally at M's parties, and it has always been perfectly comfortable, no awkwardness whatsoever.
(strange -- just now, re-reading my almost two-year-old blog post about one of our early dates, I'm surprised -- I don't recall liking him as much as I seem to in this writeup! Anyway. I fall quickly sometimes -- surprise, surprise).
So -- M, TG and I went for a bite, and my spirits were lifted immediately thanks to their company and a few glasses of wine. We were about to walk to our respective subways when we passed by New Hip Restaurant -- M impulsively suggested we go there for just one more drink, which didn't take much convincing.
However -- at the door, the doorman / bouncer-type informed us: no reservation, no dice. We insisted, we just wanted to get a drink at the bar. Nope -- sorry.
M and I stood there looking at each other for a minute -- I wasn't ready to give up just yet, and just had a feeling that if we persevered or brainstormed, surely, there had to be a way in.
Just then, that "way" became apparent: the door swung open, and an acquaintance appeared -- let's call him Funny Guy. FG apparently had some connection there, and the fact that he knew me was all the doorman needed to know -- he whisked us inside, and insisted we join him and his friends. They generously shared some of their delicious apps with us (even though we just ate, we had to sample -- this restaurant is a bit pricey, and I probably won't be eating there anytime soon). Every so often, it's fun to pretend to be one of the Beautiful People.
Funny Guy and friends left before M, TG and I did -- when we asked for the check for our drinks, we were informed that it had been taken care of. I was touched by their generosity, and basked in the feeling that my day was finishing on a much better note than it had started.
But wait... it gets even better!
M hopped in a cab, and This Guy offered to walk me part of the way home. We then walked a bit more... and a bit more... until we were in front of my place, kissing. Then in my living room, kissing. And so on.
Thursday: did not get a good night of sleep at all... but it was 100% worth it. I thought this to myself as I said goodbye to This Guy at 9 am...
My Husband Is Old-Fashioned and Sexist
My Husband's Drinking Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Infertility Is Ruining Our Marriage
My Sick Husband Got Better and Our Marriage Got Worse
My Stepdaughter Is Coming Between Us
Reasons Why Black Women Should Date Non-Black Men
Black Women | Black Families | Polyamory
The BS Confident Women Never Tolerate From Men
3 Things You Can Learn From My Failed Relationship
Things Men Say When We’re Just Running Dating Game
Why Is It So Hard to Be Friends With an Ex?
The Awkward Missing Piece of the New Dating Puzzle
Not EVERY First Date is a Winner…
Most Traumatizing First Kiss Ever
How can it only have been four days since I've updated here? I have so much info for you! I'll give you the play-by-play as if I were reporting it on each day.
Monday: feeling very happy and optimistic about Mr Recurring! We're back to our previous fun e-mail banter -- in a flirty moment, he joked about playing strip poker -- and interestingly, we have not only our next date planned, but the next two dates: a lunch date mid-week, then a proper weekend night out. Am very much looking forward to both, and it seems that he is as well.
Wednesday: my work day was off to a hectic start, so rather than the lunch date we had initially planned, I called Mr R to ask if he was free that night, maybe we could do a casual after-work thing instead. He started, "actually..."
He admitted to me that he's been on a few dates with someone else -- he feels that there's a special connection there, and he'd like to explore that... and as a result, feels we shouldn't be seeing each other any longer. He gave me more info than I really needed to hear: this felt like a one-in-a-million, and you can't control when this happens, blah blah blah.
I told him I appreciated his honesty, and that telling me this was preferable to him disappearing -- and wished him the best of luck.
(as written to a friend just after the call) I'm actually crying at my desk in my cubicle right now, hoping no one comes by -- maybe this dark cloud is a little bit about him, but more about the frustration of feeling that I had finally met someone I liked, only to have it go out the window -- and a little envy over the fabulous connection he seems to have with this other woman.
I'll be fine... but it just sucks right now.
Spend rest of the day brooding / crying in my cubicle / eating bad junk food. Several friends offered to take me out for a drink, and I wound up meeting M and her friend This Guy -- long time readers may remember that This Guy and I had a handful of dates about two years ago, but it never went anywhere. We run into each other occasionally at M's parties, and it has always been perfectly comfortable, no awkwardness whatsoever.
(strange -- just now, re-reading my almost two-year-old blog post about one of our early dates, I'm surprised -- I don't recall liking him as much as I seem to in this writeup! Anyway. I fall quickly sometimes -- surprise, surprise).
So -- M, TG and I went for a bite, and my spirits were lifted immediately thanks to their company and a few glasses of wine. We were about to walk to our respective subways when we passed by New Hip Restaurant -- M impulsively suggested we go there for just one more drink, which didn't take much convincing.
However -- at the door, the doorman / bouncer-type informed us: no reservation, no dice. We insisted, we just wanted to get a drink at the bar. Nope -- sorry.
M and I stood there looking at each other for a minute -- I wasn't ready to give up just yet, and just had a feeling that if we persevered or brainstormed, surely, there had to be a way in.
Just then, that "way" became apparent: the door swung open, and an acquaintance appeared -- let's call him Funny Guy. FG apparently had some connection there, and the fact that he knew me was all the doorman needed to know -- he whisked us inside, and insisted we join him and his friends. They generously shared some of their delicious apps with us (even though we just ate, we had to sample -- this restaurant is a bit pricey, and I probably won't be eating there anytime soon). Every so often, it's fun to pretend to be one of the Beautiful People.
Funny Guy and friends left before M, TG and I did -- when we asked for the check for our drinks, we were informed that it had been taken care of. I was touched by their generosity, and basked in the feeling that my day was finishing on a much better note than it had started.
But wait... it gets even better!
M hopped in a cab, and This Guy offered to walk me part of the way home. We then walked a bit more... and a bit more... until we were in front of my place, kissing. Then in my living room, kissing. And so on.
Thursday: did not get a good night of sleep at all... but it was 100% worth it. I thought this to myself as I said goodbye to This Guy at 9 am...
Début de l'événement
02.04.2022
Fin de l'événement
02.04.2022
Site Web
http://
Friday Night Recap
Description
His Ex is Ruining Our Marriage
Balancing Step-Parenting and Marital Harmony
Rebuilding a Marriage in the Sandwich Generation Squeeze
A Marriage Tested by Cancer
His Business Crashed — And So Did Our Marriage
Dating a Recovering Alcoholic
Is It Weird to Date a Relative?
His Cheatin’ Heart
What’s Our Relationship Status?
Should You Give an Ex a Second Chance?
Long-Distance Love vs. Local Connection
Trust in a Strained Marriage: Letters in the Attic
Dating Rules: Smart Strategy or Outdated Nonsense?
After a hectic work week what do I want more than anything else? It’s simple…I want to have fun. I want to enjoy myself in a drama free zone, unfortunately that just never happens for me. I had a Beef and Beer to attend last night and had reservations about it since it was for Re’s husband’s family. I knew there was no way to avoid seeing him (I hadn’t since the prior horrible weekend) and wasn’t looking forward to it.
Re pointed out that his parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc would be there and he wouldn’t be getting out of control-I saw her logic but knew it was wishful thinking. Asshat and beer just don’t mix without causing issues. I was right; as always (I really wish people would just accept that I’m always right).
The night had such potential. My fireman was supposed to show, enjoy some beers then come back to my place to ravage me-that did not happen. Turns out the girl he’s hopelessly in love with (and yes I knew about her) but isn’t “with”, well her mom also has cancer and took a turn for the worse last night so he stayed to be with her (commendable and understandable). I was therefore on the lookout for new love interests and there were plenty of them.
This bar was ripe with new potential. It was a “target rich environment” as they like to say in Top Gun. The guys were seriously hot, and unfortunately they were all married. Wedding bands were as prevalent as beer and beef at this thing. Why, I ask you, why? Anyway, eye contact was made, winks were exchanged, smiles were gifted…and yet he didn’t come over to me. I made my way to a friend who was standing near him and still nothing. No tap on the shoulder, no casual joining of our conversation.
Blurry I know. Cutie on left (does he look like Jason Statham
or is it just me) was the one making eyes at me. I love
bald men! Hottie on right...married! :-(
Signs were clear that there was interest but I’m not doing all the work here! I like aggressive and forward guys who go after what they want…if he didn’t want me bad enough to come to me then I wasn’t going to him (damned Irish pride). Eh, at least it made for a fun night.
Around midnight, when the free beer stopped flowing, is when Asshat decided to turn into a douche. Next thing we know he’s yelling at some HUGE dude and they are heading outside to fight. Yup, fight…at a Beef and Beer benefiting his aunt. What. An. Asshat. Re, little (5’3” Re) steps in front of fucking Jabba the Hut and grips up his shirt, saying, “That’s my husband and you are not going down those stairs after him. Now calm down and tell me what’s going on so I can go kick his ass myself.” Haha. Love her.
This guy was relatively sober and was easily calmed down. Re left to go downstairs and Jabba sat next to me smiling and apologizing for starting a fight in front of ladies. Ugh…really this is the guy who decides to actively hit on me. I smiled and made conversation, trying to figure out what the fight was about. Here it is ladies and gentlemen…who was going to wear the #9 in their softball league. WHAT. THE. FUCK!? I mean, really, that was worth disrupting a rather nice event for? Men are idiots.
I realize that there is no way they can come back up without running into Jabba as he is still seated next to me trying to chat me up, grab our jackets, purses, etc and make my way downstairs and outside. There is Re, face to face with Asshat trying to reason with him to not go back inside and “beat the shit out of that asshole”. Ugh. We convince him to leave the bar and go to a diner to get some food in his system. Seems like a great idea, right? Apparently not.
Re takes off in her car with Asshat and I follow, supposedly going directly to the diner but she speeds off in excess of 55pmh in a 40 zone…and I am not going to attempt to keep pace with her after having some drinks-that’s just stupid. I realize though they are no longer in front of me and turn down their street. There he is, at their front door mad a shit and screaming curses her way. I caught a lot of “bitch” and “silver spoon princess”. Oh fun.
Re pulls out and I follow, leaving Asshat behind and I have no idea what has happened until we reach the diner and she’s red in the face. Poor thing apparently had to hear all about how he grew up in the rough streets of Philly and by pulling him away from a fight he now looks like a pussy and a whipped bitch. Um, really? No…we saved your ass from getting beat down and making you look like a further tool. He apparently wanted to go home, get his keys and drive back to the bar to preserve his “street cred” by fighting this behemoth of a man. Good luck with that! Then he went in on her about her easy life and never having to want for anything (as if that’s her fault-should she apologize about that?) and how he….wait for it….wants a divorce. WHAT. A. DOUCHE!
I hate drama…hate it! I am not a woman who enjoys gossip or fights and they always seem to find their way to me. It’s pure bullshit. All I wanted was a calm night. So this Asshat, who did have the grace to apologize for his dick actions the last time he saw me, ruined yet another night. What can I do but support my friend? Nothing really but it is killing me to see this time and time again!
Tonight, at midnight, my baby sister turns 21 so I am going to hope for a better night in Philly tonight. We’re heading out late but I expect to have a blast. Stay on the lookout on Twitter for drunk tweets. ;) I hope everyone is enjoying a more drama free weekend! Kisses to all of you and thanks for listening to my rant.
Balancing Step-Parenting and Marital Harmony
Rebuilding a Marriage in the Sandwich Generation Squeeze
A Marriage Tested by Cancer
His Business Crashed — And So Did Our Marriage
Dating a Recovering Alcoholic
Is It Weird to Date a Relative?
His Cheatin’ Heart
What’s Our Relationship Status?
Should You Give an Ex a Second Chance?
Long-Distance Love vs. Local Connection
Trust in a Strained Marriage: Letters in the Attic
Dating Rules: Smart Strategy or Outdated Nonsense?
After a hectic work week what do I want more than anything else? It’s simple…I want to have fun. I want to enjoy myself in a drama free zone, unfortunately that just never happens for me. I had a Beef and Beer to attend last night and had reservations about it since it was for Re’s husband’s family. I knew there was no way to avoid seeing him (I hadn’t since the prior horrible weekend) and wasn’t looking forward to it.
Re pointed out that his parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc would be there and he wouldn’t be getting out of control-I saw her logic but knew it was wishful thinking. Asshat and beer just don’t mix without causing issues. I was right; as always (I really wish people would just accept that I’m always right).
The night had such potential. My fireman was supposed to show, enjoy some beers then come back to my place to ravage me-that did not happen. Turns out the girl he’s hopelessly in love with (and yes I knew about her) but isn’t “with”, well her mom also has cancer and took a turn for the worse last night so he stayed to be with her (commendable and understandable). I was therefore on the lookout for new love interests and there were plenty of them.
This bar was ripe with new potential. It was a “target rich environment” as they like to say in Top Gun. The guys were seriously hot, and unfortunately they were all married. Wedding bands were as prevalent as beer and beef at this thing. Why, I ask you, why? Anyway, eye contact was made, winks were exchanged, smiles were gifted…and yet he didn’t come over to me. I made my way to a friend who was standing near him and still nothing. No tap on the shoulder, no casual joining of our conversation.
Blurry I know. Cutie on left (does he look like Jason Statham
or is it just me) was the one making eyes at me. I love
bald men! Hottie on right...married! :-(
Signs were clear that there was interest but I’m not doing all the work here! I like aggressive and forward guys who go after what they want…if he didn’t want me bad enough to come to me then I wasn’t going to him (damned Irish pride). Eh, at least it made for a fun night.
Around midnight, when the free beer stopped flowing, is when Asshat decided to turn into a douche. Next thing we know he’s yelling at some HUGE dude and they are heading outside to fight. Yup, fight…at a Beef and Beer benefiting his aunt. What. An. Asshat. Re, little (5’3” Re) steps in front of fucking Jabba the Hut and grips up his shirt, saying, “That’s my husband and you are not going down those stairs after him. Now calm down and tell me what’s going on so I can go kick his ass myself.” Haha. Love her.
This guy was relatively sober and was easily calmed down. Re left to go downstairs and Jabba sat next to me smiling and apologizing for starting a fight in front of ladies. Ugh…really this is the guy who decides to actively hit on me. I smiled and made conversation, trying to figure out what the fight was about. Here it is ladies and gentlemen…who was going to wear the #9 in their softball league. WHAT. THE. FUCK!? I mean, really, that was worth disrupting a rather nice event for? Men are idiots.
I realize that there is no way they can come back up without running into Jabba as he is still seated next to me trying to chat me up, grab our jackets, purses, etc and make my way downstairs and outside. There is Re, face to face with Asshat trying to reason with him to not go back inside and “beat the shit out of that asshole”. Ugh. We convince him to leave the bar and go to a diner to get some food in his system. Seems like a great idea, right? Apparently not.
Re takes off in her car with Asshat and I follow, supposedly going directly to the diner but she speeds off in excess of 55pmh in a 40 zone…and I am not going to attempt to keep pace with her after having some drinks-that’s just stupid. I realize though they are no longer in front of me and turn down their street. There he is, at their front door mad a shit and screaming curses her way. I caught a lot of “bitch” and “silver spoon princess”. Oh fun.
Re pulls out and I follow, leaving Asshat behind and I have no idea what has happened until we reach the diner and she’s red in the face. Poor thing apparently had to hear all about how he grew up in the rough streets of Philly and by pulling him away from a fight he now looks like a pussy and a whipped bitch. Um, really? No…we saved your ass from getting beat down and making you look like a further tool. He apparently wanted to go home, get his keys and drive back to the bar to preserve his “street cred” by fighting this behemoth of a man. Good luck with that! Then he went in on her about her easy life and never having to want for anything (as if that’s her fault-should she apologize about that?) and how he….wait for it….wants a divorce. WHAT. A. DOUCHE!
I hate drama…hate it! I am not a woman who enjoys gossip or fights and they always seem to find their way to me. It’s pure bullshit. All I wanted was a calm night. So this Asshat, who did have the grace to apologize for his dick actions the last time he saw me, ruined yet another night. What can I do but support my friend? Nothing really but it is killing me to see this time and time again!
Tonight, at midnight, my baby sister turns 21 so I am going to hope for a better night in Philly tonight. We’re heading out late but I expect to have a blast. Stay on the lookout on Twitter for drunk tweets. ;) I hope everyone is enjoying a more drama free weekend! Kisses to all of you and thanks for listening to my rant.
Début de l'événement
25.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
25.03.2022
Site Web
http://
FWB
Description
Marriage vs. Addiction: Winning the Battle for Love
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray
Summer is just flying by! It’s my favorite season, and there’s so much going on – someone is always organizing a picnic in Central Park to watch the Philharmonic, or there’s a film playing under the stars on a pier, or a happy hour, or bike rides… it’s been a wonderful, social time.
No new guys to report – you’d think that I’d meet some at some of these events, but that just hasn’t happened yet. But there has been a bit, well, “recycling” of late:
Teen Crush:
Last time I wrote that we’d made plans to meet up next time he came to town. And so we did.
I got to the restaurant early to freshen up a bit, and to get a sip or two of wine in me to calm my nerves. No need to worry – the second he walked in, I immediately felt comfortable – and also very relieved. I’d been worried that I’d feel a sense of longing once I saw him, but it wasn’t like that at all. It was more like… oh, that’s it? He still looked attractive, but not quite as much as I seemed to remember. He was still smart and interesting and charming – but not in a way that made my heart a-flutter.
We lingered over drinks for a while, then had a leisurely dinner. Conversation was easy-going – no real talk about “us”. He walked me home. Somehow, we wound up kissing... just a bit.
It was just a nice, casual evening. We e-mailed a few times in the days following, and he left town again. I’m sure we’ll stay friends, but that’s it. Any mystique of what “could have been” just wasn’t there. It is as it should be.
Good Hair Guy:
I met GHG about 2½ years ago though Match – he was clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, as he was just out of a relationship. (more info here) A few times since then, we’ve had flings here and there – a fun, casual “friends with benefits” situation.
I enjoy his company – he’s funny, smart and interesting, and yes, cute. Then there’s that fabulous, thick head of hair – I just love running my fingers through it.
We’re currently taking a class together once a week. After the first class, we went to dinner and he walked me home – and we kissed at my door. We had a good laugh about it, mentioning that that was the first time that had happened in a long time – the past few times we hung out were purely platonic. Maybe because it’s summer now, and there’s strappy dresses, and tan bodies…?
After the second class the following week, we once again went out to dinner – a bit more wine was consumed. There was some kissing… and more. Again, just all in good fun.
I’m in two minds about this. On one hand, I’m just enjoying being single and having fun and being flirty. On the other hand – yes, I do want someone to love, who will love me right back. Will this type of flirty behavior be an obstacle to finding a serious relationship?
I read recently that if you want to attract something into your life, make sure your actions don’t contradict your desires. Even my shrink has warned me about this – why spend an evening with a guy with whom there’s no future, when I could be meeting someone with potential? Saying that… I’m not exactly spending all my time with guys like GHG or TC. Currently playing phone tag and exchanging e-mails with a few J-guys, but no dates lined up right now.
It’s a tough call – wanting to live in the moment, versus thinking long-term. To be continued – would love your thoughts in the meantime.
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray
Summer is just flying by! It’s my favorite season, and there’s so much going on – someone is always organizing a picnic in Central Park to watch the Philharmonic, or there’s a film playing under the stars on a pier, or a happy hour, or bike rides… it’s been a wonderful, social time.
No new guys to report – you’d think that I’d meet some at some of these events, but that just hasn’t happened yet. But there has been a bit, well, “recycling” of late:
Teen Crush:
Last time I wrote that we’d made plans to meet up next time he came to town. And so we did.
I got to the restaurant early to freshen up a bit, and to get a sip or two of wine in me to calm my nerves. No need to worry – the second he walked in, I immediately felt comfortable – and also very relieved. I’d been worried that I’d feel a sense of longing once I saw him, but it wasn’t like that at all. It was more like… oh, that’s it? He still looked attractive, but not quite as much as I seemed to remember. He was still smart and interesting and charming – but not in a way that made my heart a-flutter.
We lingered over drinks for a while, then had a leisurely dinner. Conversation was easy-going – no real talk about “us”. He walked me home. Somehow, we wound up kissing... just a bit.
It was just a nice, casual evening. We e-mailed a few times in the days following, and he left town again. I’m sure we’ll stay friends, but that’s it. Any mystique of what “could have been” just wasn’t there. It is as it should be.
Good Hair Guy:
I met GHG about 2½ years ago though Match – he was clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, as he was just out of a relationship. (more info here) A few times since then, we’ve had flings here and there – a fun, casual “friends with benefits” situation.
I enjoy his company – he’s funny, smart and interesting, and yes, cute. Then there’s that fabulous, thick head of hair – I just love running my fingers through it.
We’re currently taking a class together once a week. After the first class, we went to dinner and he walked me home – and we kissed at my door. We had a good laugh about it, mentioning that that was the first time that had happened in a long time – the past few times we hung out were purely platonic. Maybe because it’s summer now, and there’s strappy dresses, and tan bodies…?
After the second class the following week, we once again went out to dinner – a bit more wine was consumed. There was some kissing… and more. Again, just all in good fun.
I’m in two minds about this. On one hand, I’m just enjoying being single and having fun and being flirty. On the other hand – yes, I do want someone to love, who will love me right back. Will this type of flirty behavior be an obstacle to finding a serious relationship?
I read recently that if you want to attract something into your life, make sure your actions don’t contradict your desires. Even my shrink has warned me about this – why spend an evening with a guy with whom there’s no future, when I could be meeting someone with potential? Saying that… I’m not exactly spending all my time with guys like GHG or TC. Currently playing phone tag and exchanging e-mails with a few J-guys, but no dates lined up right now.
It’s a tough call – wanting to live in the moment, versus thinking long-term. To be continued – would love your thoughts in the meantime.
Début de l'événement
27.03.2023
Fin de l'événement
27.03.2023
Site Web
http://
Guys -- what NOT to do
Description
The Three Points To a Successful Relationship
3 Things to Look for in a Family Man
Marriage IS Hard Work...So What!
Why We Decided We Don't Want a Normal Relationship
Being "Hangry" Can Lead to Relationship Problems
Why Reminiscing on Your Dating Days Is Important
How Procrastination Can Kill Your Relationship
Are You Acting or Taking Action in Dating
Their Love Had Gone Cold
They Had to Confront Her Affair
They Had to Give Back Their Baby Boy
They Regretted Their Divorce
When Home Becomes the Office: A Marriage on the Brink
Fighting for Our Marriage After the War
We Almost Lost Our Daughter — Then Our Marriage
Marriage on the Move: Loving Through Loss and Relocation
Desperation is SO not sexy.
After a few e-mails with "Chandler" (he resembles Matthew Perry a bit in his pics), I gave him my number. I noted that after he left one message, he tried to call me less than an hour later -- dude, what's the hurry?
Finally, after a bit of phone tag, we got to talking, and I found out that he was visiting family in California, and wouldn't be back in NY for another two weeks. After chatting for about 15 minutes, I told Chandler that I had to get going -- had plans with friends shortly after.
Him: OK, I'll call you tomorrow.
Me: (puzzled, since he was still going to be out of town for a few weeks) Well -- I have a busy weekend ahead of me, let's just try to touch base during the week.
Him: When's the best time to reach you? Afternoon, evening?
Me: Just try me whenever...
Him: Should we talk Monday night? You'll be around then, right?
Me: (getting exasperated) Well, I think I have plans... let's just talk soon, OK?
Next day: he sends an e-mail with three more pics, saying these were "more recent" pics of him. (so why wouldn't they be on his profile?)
And here was the clincher: he told me that he had showed his mom my profile, and I seemed like a very nice person.
Dude -- too much info. This is SO over, even before it's begun. Could this BE any more of a turn-off?
Perfect advice from Cute Jewess:
Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Abort! Abort!
Had another encounter with Hot Young Guy tonight, 18 hours after saying good-bye from our first date last night. I was in a bar with a few friends when he joined me/us. I made the introductions and we had a drink with the group before going off to grab a bite on our own. This is HUGE -- I generally don't introduce new guys to my friends until we're a bit further down the road. But since HYG will probably just be my summer fling, why not? Why do I think he's just a summer fling, you may ask? A few reasons: I get the vibe that he dates quite a lot -- and he said that he hasn't had a serious relationship in several years. (oh wait... that sounds like... um, me)
He's a few years younger than I am. I just sense that we're in different "places".
OK, I know I'm not articulating this very clearly. Let me just put it this way: it's just a gut feeling.
And yet? The chemistry -- wow. The attraction is quite strong. I have a feeling that sex with him would be pretty rockin'-- but I'm going to try to hold out for at least a few weeks. We made plans to get together again later in the week.
3 Things to Look for in a Family Man
Marriage IS Hard Work...So What!
Why We Decided We Don't Want a Normal Relationship
Being "Hangry" Can Lead to Relationship Problems
Why Reminiscing on Your Dating Days Is Important
How Procrastination Can Kill Your Relationship
Are You Acting or Taking Action in Dating
Their Love Had Gone Cold
They Had to Confront Her Affair
They Had to Give Back Their Baby Boy
They Regretted Their Divorce
When Home Becomes the Office: A Marriage on the Brink
Fighting for Our Marriage After the War
We Almost Lost Our Daughter — Then Our Marriage
Marriage on the Move: Loving Through Loss and Relocation
Desperation is SO not sexy.
After a few e-mails with "Chandler" (he resembles Matthew Perry a bit in his pics), I gave him my number. I noted that after he left one message, he tried to call me less than an hour later -- dude, what's the hurry?
Finally, after a bit of phone tag, we got to talking, and I found out that he was visiting family in California, and wouldn't be back in NY for another two weeks. After chatting for about 15 minutes, I told Chandler that I had to get going -- had plans with friends shortly after.
Him: OK, I'll call you tomorrow.
Me: (puzzled, since he was still going to be out of town for a few weeks) Well -- I have a busy weekend ahead of me, let's just try to touch base during the week.
Him: When's the best time to reach you? Afternoon, evening?
Me: Just try me whenever...
Him: Should we talk Monday night? You'll be around then, right?
Me: (getting exasperated) Well, I think I have plans... let's just talk soon, OK?
Next day: he sends an e-mail with three more pics, saying these were "more recent" pics of him. (so why wouldn't they be on his profile?)
And here was the clincher: he told me that he had showed his mom my profile, and I seemed like a very nice person.
Dude -- too much info. This is SO over, even before it's begun. Could this BE any more of a turn-off?
Perfect advice from Cute Jewess:
Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Abort! Abort!
Had another encounter with Hot Young Guy tonight, 18 hours after saying good-bye from our first date last night. I was in a bar with a few friends when he joined me/us. I made the introductions and we had a drink with the group before going off to grab a bite on our own. This is HUGE -- I generally don't introduce new guys to my friends until we're a bit further down the road. But since HYG will probably just be my summer fling, why not? Why do I think he's just a summer fling, you may ask? A few reasons: I get the vibe that he dates quite a lot -- and he said that he hasn't had a serious relationship in several years. (oh wait... that sounds like... um, me)
He's a few years younger than I am. I just sense that we're in different "places".
OK, I know I'm not articulating this very clearly. Let me just put it this way: it's just a gut feeling.
And yet? The chemistry -- wow. The attraction is quite strong. I have a feeling that sex with him would be pretty rockin'-- but I'm going to try to hold out for at least a few weeks. We made plans to get together again later in the week.
Début de l'événement
09.04.2023
Fin de l'événement
09.04.2023
Site Web
http://
Happy '09!
Description
We Battle Constantly Over Our Autistic Child
We Became Parents and Fell Out of Love
We Became Parents...and Stopped Having Sex
We Can't Agree on How to Raise Our Child
We Can't Get Over Our First Marriages
Stress Of Infertility Is Hurting Our Marriage
We Can't Have a Baby
We Can't Get Pregnant and It's Driving Us Apart
It's Time to Be Real in Your Relationship
Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love
Find Yourself Before Finding The ONE
It's Not HIM Who's Afraid To Commit
How to Setting Boundaries Brings People Closer
Doubt Is Totally Keeping You From Finding Love
Do You Suffer From Pre-Mature Love Manifestation?
Are you looking for the finish line in love?
Learn the One Rule for Love and Dating
I'm back!
And officially broken up with Camper, as of this week. And it's OK -- I'm feeling a little melancholy, but it's for the best.
As I mentioned, things moved very quickly with us from the start. It was so refreshing, after quite a long time of dating uncertainty, to have a guy so clearly crazy about me. (in between the times that I worried that it was too much, too soon with him)
As the weeks progressed, I began to notice little things that bothered me. Nothing that made him a bad person -- but as I got to know him better, I just realized more and more that we weren't really a match. And yet - he was (and remains) such a lovely, sweet guy that I really, truly wanted to make it work.
However -- without realizing it at first, I found myself exhibiting classic passive-aggressive behavior. I'd start little spats, probably in an effort to get him mad at me. And I began liking myself less and less in the process.
We finally had "the talk", and he said he appreciated my honesty. I think we'll be able to be friends down the road. While I feel a sense of relief, I'm a little sad at the same time.
This situation reminded me of a job interview I had years ago, when I was just starting my career. I wasn't particularly enthused about the company I was interviewing for -- and the interviewer sensed it. She said to me, "I don't think you want a job with X company... you just want a job.". I was rendered speechless, because she was absolutely right.
I think that was the case with Camper at first -- I was just so excited to have a "boyfriend", that at first it didn't matter that he might not be the right candidate. We had a great story behind us (reunited after 20-something years!), and I envisioned someone telling that story while giving a toast at our wedding. But in the end, that just wasn't enough.
Good story that made me laugh -- a friend had a second (or was it a third?) date with a guy tonight. She was feeling a bit lukewarm about the guy, but was excited to meet his new puppy.
I got this text from her after the date: Um. Unexpected sex with [date]. The dogs get me every single friggin time!
For all you guys who think Barry White and dim lighting is the way to woo your lady... try a canine companion!
We Became Parents and Fell Out of Love
We Became Parents...and Stopped Having Sex
We Can't Agree on How to Raise Our Child
We Can't Get Over Our First Marriages
Stress Of Infertility Is Hurting Our Marriage
We Can't Have a Baby
We Can't Get Pregnant and It's Driving Us Apart
It's Time to Be Real in Your Relationship
Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love
Find Yourself Before Finding The ONE
It's Not HIM Who's Afraid To Commit
How to Setting Boundaries Brings People Closer
Doubt Is Totally Keeping You From Finding Love
Do You Suffer From Pre-Mature Love Manifestation?
Are you looking for the finish line in love?
Learn the One Rule for Love and Dating
I'm back!
And officially broken up with Camper, as of this week. And it's OK -- I'm feeling a little melancholy, but it's for the best.
As I mentioned, things moved very quickly with us from the start. It was so refreshing, after quite a long time of dating uncertainty, to have a guy so clearly crazy about me. (in between the times that I worried that it was too much, too soon with him)
As the weeks progressed, I began to notice little things that bothered me. Nothing that made him a bad person -- but as I got to know him better, I just realized more and more that we weren't really a match. And yet - he was (and remains) such a lovely, sweet guy that I really, truly wanted to make it work.
However -- without realizing it at first, I found myself exhibiting classic passive-aggressive behavior. I'd start little spats, probably in an effort to get him mad at me. And I began liking myself less and less in the process.
We finally had "the talk", and he said he appreciated my honesty. I think we'll be able to be friends down the road. While I feel a sense of relief, I'm a little sad at the same time.
This situation reminded me of a job interview I had years ago, when I was just starting my career. I wasn't particularly enthused about the company I was interviewing for -- and the interviewer sensed it. She said to me, "I don't think you want a job with X company... you just want a job.". I was rendered speechless, because she was absolutely right.
I think that was the case with Camper at first -- I was just so excited to have a "boyfriend", that at first it didn't matter that he might not be the right candidate. We had a great story behind us (reunited after 20-something years!), and I envisioned someone telling that story while giving a toast at our wedding. But in the end, that just wasn't enough.
Good story that made me laugh -- a friend had a second (or was it a third?) date with a guy tonight. She was feeling a bit lukewarm about the guy, but was excited to meet his new puppy.
I got this text from her after the date: Um. Unexpected sex with [date]. The dogs get me every single friggin time!
For all you guys who think Barry White and dim lighting is the way to woo your lady... try a canine companion!
Début de l'événement
11.04.2024
Fin de l'événement
11.04.2024
Site Web
http://
Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal Steps to Heal a Broken Marriage
Description
He Cheats on Me During Business Trips
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid
Reply
Cali Bradshaw
March 24, 2011 at 2:22 am #
Hey Jimmy – I am all for guys doing what they want, however I wonder if it gets them what they want in the end. I always hear guys complaining about not being able to find a quality girl. But perhaps that’s because they are too busy “doing what they want” and bc they are looking at it as “not bowing down” rather than seeing it as a simple act to make a girl smile. It is all about perspective in my opinion. You can view the “modern woman” as the enemy who needs to be punished, or you can embrace her. Up to you!
Thanks for the comment.
-Cali
Reply
belinda
March 23, 2011 at 2:35 am #
You know what’s great about dating a strong independent woman? She doesn’t need you. She wants you. You always know that. Dinner is a small price to pay for that glorious feeling.
But yeah, I’m with ya on this, Cali. Guys can make all the arguments they want, but real men pick up the tab. Every argument they make is an excuse. And men don’t make excuses. They pick up the tab. And the do it so smoothly, you don’t even know the check has come.
That said, if you want a real man, Cali, act like a real lady. You’re buying breakfast for a guy who you’re fighting about tabs with. There’s a milk/cow thing happening here.
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid
Reply
Cali Bradshaw
March 24, 2011 at 2:22 am #
Hey Jimmy – I am all for guys doing what they want, however I wonder if it gets them what they want in the end. I always hear guys complaining about not being able to find a quality girl. But perhaps that’s because they are too busy “doing what they want” and bc they are looking at it as “not bowing down” rather than seeing it as a simple act to make a girl smile. It is all about perspective in my opinion. You can view the “modern woman” as the enemy who needs to be punished, or you can embrace her. Up to you!
Thanks for the comment.
-Cali
Reply
belinda
March 23, 2011 at 2:35 am #
You know what’s great about dating a strong independent woman? She doesn’t need you. She wants you. You always know that. Dinner is a small price to pay for that glorious feeling.
But yeah, I’m with ya on this, Cali. Guys can make all the arguments they want, but real men pick up the tab. Every argument they make is an excuse. And men don’t make excuses. They pick up the tab. And the do it so smoothly, you don’t even know the check has come.
That said, if you want a real man, Cali, act like a real lady. You’re buying breakfast for a guy who you’re fighting about tabs with. There’s a milk/cow thing happening here.
Début de l'événement
17.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
17.03.2022
Site Web
http://
Rekindling the Flame: Overcoming Intimacy Issues in Your Marriage
Description
He Had an Affair Because I Stopped Initiating Sex
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker
Why people can just be fair anywaythis is the line of the evolution.
I’m not pride of maschilism and I don’t want see women in the world cleaning like slave and do thinks that don’t make them feel good. The pleasure must be a fair game and on both side.
Reply
moro
February 5, 2012 at 12:06 am #
Jessica very good.
You just experience what a man experience the whole life.
You work hard and people seating on you..trust me isn’t fun!
Sorry but this is real life. You arent different from others. You have been just the typical spoil incomplete woman that can’t find a man attractive and be in a relationship if he doesn’t take care of you.
Wrooong! That was your daddy not your man!
If you couldn’t effort why you haven’t stay home with him a chatting on the couch.
Men don’t get from women anythingh of what the own fantasy imaging expecially sexually.
Example : Having sex with a hot stranger is a unbelivable experience for a man. Everyman should try.
A woman must wait 3 weeks or months before intimacy.
A man at that point has lose 80% of his creativity.
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker
Why people can just be fair anywaythis is the line of the evolution.
I’m not pride of maschilism and I don’t want see women in the world cleaning like slave and do thinks that don’t make them feel good. The pleasure must be a fair game and on both side.
Reply
moro
February 5, 2012 at 12:06 am #
Jessica very good.
You just experience what a man experience the whole life.
You work hard and people seating on you..trust me isn’t fun!
Sorry but this is real life. You arent different from others. You have been just the typical spoil incomplete woman that can’t find a man attractive and be in a relationship if he doesn’t take care of you.
Wrooong! That was your daddy not your man!
If you couldn’t effort why you haven’t stay home with him a chatting on the couch.
Men don’t get from women anythingh of what the own fantasy imaging expecially sexually.
Example : Having sex with a hot stranger is a unbelivable experience for a man. Everyman should try.
A woman must wait 3 weeks or months before intimacy.
A man at that point has lose 80% of his creativity.
Début de l'événement
18.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
18.03.2022
Site Web
http://
Relationship Advice: Toxic Friendships
Description
Have you ever noticed that everyone talks about (and writes books on, and dedicates songs to …) how hard it can be to get through the loss of a romantic relationship, but when it comes to those that are platonic, mums the word? The truth is, though, that they can be just as -- if not more than --devastating.
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The truth about friendships is that they’re often fleeting. People do grow apart, and sometimes it’s better to just let the friendship fade than to force it. The fact that you’ve known someone since your Barbie years doesn’t give you anything in common as adults except for a once-shared crush on Ken. In order to mature, there are some things you have to let go of, from your Barbie collection to the friends whose company you no longer enjoy or who require much more energy than you’re (or they’re) willing to give.
If your different directions in life are the reason for the strain in your friendship, then it’s likely that your friend is feeling the urge to let go as well. The end of this friendship doesn’t have to leave either of you with the bitter taste of a failed relationship – it’s a simple fact of life that it’s time to move on.
Make plans for a ‘break-up’ dinner, where you reminisce about your past and wish each other the best in the future. It’s a mature end to a friendship and a civil step towards greater maturity.
Don’t forget the other people in your life. True, no one can take the place of the friend whose gone, but don’t fail to recognize all the other people who care about you -- whether they’re family or other friends.
Get involved in new activities that are outside of your old friendship -- it’s a great way to get your mind off of your troubles and meet new people.
Advice for Starting the Friendship Breakup Process and Tips for Recovering From a Friendship Breakup
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Have you ever noticed that everyone talks about (and writes books on, and dedicates songs to …) how hard it can be to get through the loss of a romantic relationship, but when it comes to those that are platonic, mums the word? The truth is, though, that they can be just as -- if not more than --devastating.
When to Let A Friendship End
Friends -- they’re our second families, our trusted confidants and automatic teammates, fellow partyers, side-by-side buddies and they usually last longer than lovers. On the other hand, sometimes, when you stop to think, you find that certain friendships are causing more pain than laughter, more avoidance than fun, and more grief than relief.The truth about friendships is that they’re often fleeting. People do grow apart, and sometimes it’s better to just let the friendship fade than to force it. The fact that you’ve known someone since your Barbie years doesn’t give you anything in common as adults except for a once-shared crush on Ken. In order to mature, there are some things you have to let go of, from your Barbie collection to the friends whose company you no longer enjoy or who require much more energy than you’re (or they’re) willing to give.
If your different directions in life are the reason for the strain in your friendship, then it’s likely that your friend is feeling the urge to let go as well. The end of this friendship doesn’t have to leave either of you with the bitter taste of a failed relationship – it’s a simple fact of life that it’s time to move on.
Make plans for a ‘break-up’ dinner, where you reminisce about your past and wish each other the best in the future. It’s a mature end to a friendship and a civil step towards greater maturity.
Toxic Friendships
So-called friends who mooch your money, strain your sanity, take up all of your time or put you in situations where you simply don’t feel comfortable are no friends at all. These are also the people who aren’t easily blown off because they either don’t get the hint that you don’t share their friendly feelings or because they just don’t like taking no for an answer.Starting the Friendship Divorce Process
The truth is, there is no easy way to do it, but communicating is always better than avoiding someone; the latter choice would only cause you to duck-and-roll behind the frozen meats when you see this person at the grocery store. Instead, place a phone call to this person and ask, "Is there something about our friendship that isn't working for me. How do you feel about that? This single question will at least produce some dialogue and the two of you will come to a mutual decision. If you decide to be ex-friends, the grocery store may still be awkward, but at least you won't have to duck-and-roll right?3 Tips Towards Recovering from the Loss Of A Friendship
Make sure you understand, as much as possible, why the friendship has ended, and have made every attempt to repair it. Even if it’s impossible to mend, knowing that you tried is key to moving on with a clear heart and mind.Don’t forget the other people in your life. True, no one can take the place of the friend whose gone, but don’t fail to recognize all the other people who care about you -- whether they’re family or other friends.
Get involved in new activities that are outside of your old friendship -- it’s a great way to get your mind off of your troubles and meet new people.
Début de l'événement
30.06.2023
Fin de l'événement
30.06.2023
Site Web
http://
Test date
Description
https://yeswiki.net
Début de l'événement
29.10.2019
Fin de l'événement
31.10.2019
Site Web
https://yeswiki.net
When Singlutionary is "Sick of Being Single!"
Description
He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
In my last post, I mentioned that, in part, my long hiatus from blogging was due to feeling "sick of being single": I felt like a hypocrite.
But Eleanore of The Spinsterlicious Life wrote a delightful comment which inspired me to write more about the very thing which prevented me from writing.
Being single is an adventure -- especially if you're someone who has never been single and suddenly finds yourself there or if you've lived a life where you've never felt comfortable with being single but suddenly realize that learning to be comfortable with being single is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
When I started this blog 3 years ago I was excited at the thought of learning how to be happy and single. I was fresh out of a pretty sketchy relationship with my former therapist. (Duh, bad idea, right?) I was still in and barely coming out of a deep-down-supper-shitty, bad-as-its-ever-been low point. I was upset with myself for making yet another bad decision when it came to a relationship (or relationship material) and upset at the universe for all the time and space I had wasted in my life wishing for some Knight in Badboy Armor to come trotting into my life only to rip my life out of my own hands and trample it under his sexy horse.
But after being single for 2 years, the gloss and struggle of singleness wore of. There was a honeymoon period that I had with myself and it was over.
But I loved the community I had found through Singlutionary. This blog fed my soul and my fellow bloggers were a rare light for me during a very difficult time. I felt sane and comprehended and like I was a part of something important when I wrote and read and commented and conversed in the singles blog-o-sphere. So I kept trying to keep this blog up.
But I was bored. I was bored with everything. After a traumatic experience, it takes a long time to feel stable again. And at first that stability is like this great and wondrous thing. It feels SO GOOD.
And then it gets boring. Suddenly, stability is taken for granted. I wondered what was next? What would I do with my life now that I had my life back in my own hands, mended of horse hooves and heartbreak?
I needed a new real life friend, some intellectual stimulation and a job that didn't suck.
And I wanted to be with someone in a sexual/love relationship because THAT seemed like the new adventure. And because I'd finally got enough confidence in myself and in the world to think that being in a relationship could be a positive thing -- as long as I did it Singlutionary style.
Well, the first relationship was a disaster of needyness. I was Singlutionary and the other member of this relationship was Needilutionary. It was over almost before it began, but not soon enough.
I was so glad to be single again after that 4 month 1st try.
But I hadn't had sex in over 2 years and I was on the prowl. But THAT story is the subject of another post.
The point of this post is that even if you're totally happy and comfortable with being single, sometimes you get bored. Sometimes you're bored because your job is boring or because your friends are all old farts or because you're an old fart and only like to watch old episodes of The Wonder Years on VHS and think about the olden days.
Sometimes you're horny because you haven't had sex in 2 years and you've just turned 30.
It is OK to crave a new adventure! Sometimes this adventure means going offline for a bit, or quitting writing for a bit. And sometimes this adventure means trying out that thing that we're all about doing just fine without -- a relationship.
What adventures are you craving? When do you know that you're entering into this new adventure not out a desperate need to get away from where-you-are but because you're ready to share where-you-are with the world?
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
In my last post, I mentioned that, in part, my long hiatus from blogging was due to feeling "sick of being single": I felt like a hypocrite.
But Eleanore of The Spinsterlicious Life wrote a delightful comment which inspired me to write more about the very thing which prevented me from writing.
Being single is an adventure -- especially if you're someone who has never been single and suddenly finds yourself there or if you've lived a life where you've never felt comfortable with being single but suddenly realize that learning to be comfortable with being single is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
When I started this blog 3 years ago I was excited at the thought of learning how to be happy and single. I was fresh out of a pretty sketchy relationship with my former therapist. (Duh, bad idea, right?) I was still in and barely coming out of a deep-down-supper-shitty, bad-as-its-ever-been low point. I was upset with myself for making yet another bad decision when it came to a relationship (or relationship material) and upset at the universe for all the time and space I had wasted in my life wishing for some Knight in Badboy Armor to come trotting into my life only to rip my life out of my own hands and trample it under his sexy horse.
But after being single for 2 years, the gloss and struggle of singleness wore of. There was a honeymoon period that I had with myself and it was over.
But I loved the community I had found through Singlutionary. This blog fed my soul and my fellow bloggers were a rare light for me during a very difficult time. I felt sane and comprehended and like I was a part of something important when I wrote and read and commented and conversed in the singles blog-o-sphere. So I kept trying to keep this blog up.
But I was bored. I was bored with everything. After a traumatic experience, it takes a long time to feel stable again. And at first that stability is like this great and wondrous thing. It feels SO GOOD.
And then it gets boring. Suddenly, stability is taken for granted. I wondered what was next? What would I do with my life now that I had my life back in my own hands, mended of horse hooves and heartbreak?
I needed a new real life friend, some intellectual stimulation and a job that didn't suck.
And I wanted to be with someone in a sexual/love relationship because THAT seemed like the new adventure. And because I'd finally got enough confidence in myself and in the world to think that being in a relationship could be a positive thing -- as long as I did it Singlutionary style.
Well, the first relationship was a disaster of needyness. I was Singlutionary and the other member of this relationship was Needilutionary. It was over almost before it began, but not soon enough.
I was so glad to be single again after that 4 month 1st try.
But I hadn't had sex in over 2 years and I was on the prowl. But THAT story is the subject of another post.
The point of this post is that even if you're totally happy and comfortable with being single, sometimes you get bored. Sometimes you're bored because your job is boring or because your friends are all old farts or because you're an old fart and only like to watch old episodes of The Wonder Years on VHS and think about the olden days.
Sometimes you're horny because you haven't had sex in 2 years and you've just turned 30.
It is OK to crave a new adventure! Sometimes this adventure means going offline for a bit, or quitting writing for a bit. And sometimes this adventure means trying out that thing that we're all about doing just fine without -- a relationship.
What adventures are you craving? When do you know that you're entering into this new adventure not out a desperate need to get away from where-you-are but because you're ready to share where-you-are with the world?
Début de l'événement
20.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
20.03.2022
Site Web
http://
Yeswikiday
Description
Une journée pour faire avancer le projet Yeswiki dans la bonne humeur
Début de l'événement
30.04.2020 - 09:00
Fin de l'événement
30.04.2020 - 16:00
Site Web
https://yeswiki.net/?DocumentatioN
Code postal
7700
Ville
Mouscron
Youpi ici c'est le titre
Description
il faut que l'on descrive des trucs un peu plus long pour voir si cela rentre bien
Début de l'événement
08.01.2020
Fin de l'événement
10.01.2020
Adresse
bordeaux